Please.. just.. please..

make the pain go away, come back, linger

I want to lie down
without feeling that throbbing ache
And sit up without every nerve
ending in my spine SCREAMING in agony.
To bend over without the horrid flash
of my muscles in terror of movement
To be able to cook, or clean, or BREATHE
without the feeling that my vertebrae are clawing
scratching, biting, RIPPING away from my body
That heavy thud, the sharp pain of leather against flesh
trading pain for pain, striking, snapping, slapping
The sharp bite, quick, clean, small
agonizingly lovely flashes of hurt and small bits of blood
To smell the scent of leather and rope
that clings to your skin.. pours from your skin
Feel your hand on the back of my neck
softly holding, gently keeping
Leather and steel encircling my throat
firmly keeping, strongly holding
The almost too hot burn of hemp
pulling quickly over tender places
tightening, grasping, pulling, lifting
Rough hands, calloused, well worn and loved
caressing skin, fingertips kissing raised flesh and pale skin
Sharp teeth, sharp pain, sharp and vivid memory
welling up like blood, like tears
Scratches, hard, sudden
tearing skin and burning marks
Salty emotion releasing, flowing, falling
touched, tasted, remembered
A sigh, a breath, collapse
contented silence, sitting, touching
Pleased, pleasing, please..
just..please