Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Please.. just.. please..

make the pain go away, come back, linger

I want to lie down
without feeling that throbbing ache
And sit up without every nerve
ending in my spine SCREAMING in agony.
To bend over without the horrid flash
of my muscles in terror of movement
To be able to cook, or clean, or BREATHE
without the feeling that my vertebrae are clawing
scratching, biting, RIPPING away from my body
That heavy thud, the sharp pain of leather against flesh
trading pain for pain, striking, snapping, slapping
The sharp bite, quick, clean, small
agonizingly lovely flashes of hurt and small bits of blood
To smell the scent of leather and rope
that clings to your skin.. pours from your skin
Feel your hand on the back of my neck
softly holding, gently keeping
Leather and steel encircling my throat
firmly keeping, strongly holding
The almost too hot burn of hemp
pulling quickly over tender places
tightening, grasping, pulling, lifting
Rough hands, calloused, well worn and loved
caressing skin, fingertips kissing raised flesh and pale skin
Sharp teeth, sharp pain, sharp and vivid memory
welling up like blood, like tears
Scratches, hard, sudden
tearing skin and burning marks
Salty emotion releasing, flowing, falling
touched, tasted, remembered
A sigh, a breath, collapse
contented silence, sitting, touching
Pleased, pleasing, please..
just..please

Friday, January 16, 2009

Patience...


I've only been actively learning and discovering BDSM for a few months, and one of the most important lessons I've learned is patience.

Patience isn't just the ability to wait for something. It's also the active preparation of yourself for what you're searching for.. actively looking to improve yourself and what you have to offer, in hopes that when you DO stumble upon the things you are searching for, you're ready to recognize it and accept it.

Things don't happen all at once, no matter how much I, you, or anyone else may want them to. Sure, I'd love to be involved in something stable, serious, and with someone who values me as a person, as well as a sub... but the simple fact that it's not happened shows me that I need to be patient.. because I may not be ready, even if I feel that I am.

I have been blessed with a wonderful Mentor, and He takes care to answer my questions and guide me to learning more of myself, and being able to master myself. He's taught me the value of patience, and He's taught me the value of being aware of my own thoughts and feelings.

Patience is a virtue. Not because waiting is hard.. but because patience is work. It is a constant, daily, active thing. The simple fact that the need to be patient is apparent means that you're not yet ready. So be ready. Know yourself, your value, your needs.. and also know that what you WANT may not be what you need. So be ready. And be patient.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Who hires who..

When you hire a model, you're doing it for one or more of a few reasons:

- the model has a look you need/want for your port
- the model has the experience you need/want for your port
- the model has a skill you need/want for your port
- the model has a "name" or such that would benefit your port

There's probably a few more reasons, but those are the most common.

When a model hires a photographer, it's for one or more of a few reasons:

- the photographer has a look you need/want for your port
- the photographer has the experience you need/want for your port
- the photographer has a skill you need/want for your port
- the photographer has a "name" or such that would benefit your port

When a client hires a model/photographer/team, it's for one or more of a few reasons:

- a look in need/want for their project
- the experience in need/want for their project
- a skill in need/want for their project
- a "name" or such that is in need for their project

When both parties work trade, it's for one or more of a few reasons:

- a look both parties need/want for their port
- the experience both parties need/want for their port
- a skill both parties need/want for their port
- a "name" or such that would benefit both parties' portfolios

One should always strive to "trade up" when working trade. PYPI can expunge on this in more detail.

It can't be explain much clearer then that.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Credit list..

Mayhem #1376341 Cheeky Chique
Mayhem #757129 The Art Farm
Mayhem #319020 Creative Smiles
Mayhem #1296 RC Photo
Mayhem #222771 Wikkid Things
Mayhem #1299589 Bebe Zhang
Mayhem #1076984 Dannielle Levan
Mayhem #1025403 Carl Evans
Mayhem #59023 Jaime Ibarra
Mayhem #759031 Brandon Witzel
Mayhem #470471 TangoMan
Mayhem #123496 Brett
Mayhem #511763 Peter_
Mayhem #869394 Fresh Face Stace
Mayhem #737 Jerry Johnson
Mayhem #615426 Johnny Rocket
Mayhem #402716 M Bradley
Mayhem #113158 Bill Jarrell
Mayhem #254156 GBI Graphics
Mayhem #81733 Red Sky Photography
Mayhem #734639 HMSlatex Designs
Mayhem #6739 Kim Reyes
Mayhem #62753 Tortured Artist
Mayhem #746639 Persicolor
Mayhem #81733 Red Sky Photography
Mayhem #131593 TDL
Mayhem #1092775 A R Tiste
Mayhem #808564 Heather Orr Makeup
Mayhem #4060 rickOPIOLA
Mayhem #99 FrizzyCube
Mayhem #683399 Pasha Photo
Mayhem #7806 Sanders McNew
Mayhem #619113 JohnKPhotography
Mayhem #60480 Koray
Mayhem #1131095 StereoBall
Mayhem #2390 James Graham
Mayhem #129276 William Steel
Mayhem #715594 Stephen Markman
Mayhem #102281 Marcos Rivera
Mayhem #11903 Julie Coffey
Mayhem #104232 Craziest Benny
Mayhem #74015 Michael McCabe
Mayhem #447569 Dirty Addiction
Mayhem #683399 PashaPhoto
Mayhem #73382 David Lawrence
Mayhem #373226 JC - Starkarts
Mayhem #840564 Goddess Damiana
Mayhem #26084 MerlinPix
Mayhem #13624 Christian Behr
Mayhem #741395 Razor 7
Mayhem #2301 WillSpringfield
Mayhem #12528 Sita Mae
Mayhem #74015 Michael McCabe
Mayhem #41096 Sam Beasely
Mayhem #519462 -kat-
Mayhem #519462 Skinny Bitch Swimwear
Mayhem #2495 Duke Morse
Mayhem #89007 Oliver Regueiro
Mayhem #202375 Clayton Cooper
Mayhem #203375 Enviromental Refugee
Mayhem #96411 Philipe
Mayhem #101554 WZ Studio
Mayhem #820174 Barry Elkins
Mayhem #478262 Jason Todd Ipson
Mayhem #21894 Eva Woodby
Mayhem #562780 MegSchutz
Mayhem #32434 Stephen M Loban
Mayhem #4679 Duwayno
Mayhem #344126 Dan Lippitt
Mayhem #5266 Star
Mayhem #901248 Autumn Sanders
Mayhem #678910 Anthony Wallace
Mayhem #118803 Thomas Landon
Mayhem #85583 Click Hamilton
Mayhem #11068 D. Brian Nelson
Mayhem #197198 Ken Marcus
Mayhem #254223 Venus Wept Photography
Mayhem #3005 ravens laughter
Mayhem #219585 DonSir
Mayhem #12886 Michael Helms
Mayhem #5094 Perry Gallagher
Mayhem #5092 Anyssa
Mayhem #2593 Baron Von Tyher
Mayhem #428488 Brianna Ford
Mayhem #238481 Dave Proctor
Mayhem #658317 The Nikonian
Mayhem #122520 Iris Dassault
Mayhem #20630 Jim Young
Mayhem #32434 Stephen M Loban
Mayhem #673089 Ellen O
Mayhem #22557 Darker-Side-of-Midnight
Mayhem #86286 M. Carle
Mayhem #10155 DVS
Mayhem #506075 Damon Blakk
Mayhem #1731 Damon Banner
Mayhem #234582 PYPI
Mayhem #680937 LoveLust Makeup
Mayhem #49162 Siddella
Mayhem #311 Steve Prue
Mayhem #602072 Polina Osherov
Mayhem #127708 Babak
Mayhem #40760 Chip Willis
Mayhem #234582 PYPI
Mayhem #12853 Doctor E
Mayhem #2081 mErocrush
Mayhem #212275 Andre Kaufman
Mayhem #45851 T H Taylor
Mayhem #26388 Ward
Mayhem #122520 Iris Dassault
Mayhem #197984 Phoenyx Photography
Mayhem #17361 Jeff Hui
Mayhem #11291 G W Burns
Mayhem #47246 EdwinR Photography
Mayhem #2971 Joe Tomasone
Mayhem #25601 SLE Photography
Mayhem #70690 SeanHfoto
Mayhem #38993 Sai
Mayhem #11210 Emily Rishea
Mayhem #542367 Chris Triance-Martin
Mayhem #593154 Peter Claver
Mayhem #127759 Miss Fifi-Alexis
Mayhem #723253 Pretty Poison MUA
Mayhem #10855 Gary Breckheimer
Mayhem #4771 Capt Stu Beans
Mayhem #193886 Stephen Melvin
Mayhem #649065 Ken Centauri
Mayhem #194402 Frog516
Mayhem #58961 Mary Wano
Mayhem #368484 e a k
Mayhem #381918 Mike Fiction
Mayhem #8979 Cherrystone
Mayhem #141877 Dave Cuerdon Photo
Mayhem #100894 WI Lifecasting
Mayhem #369716 Cutting James
Mayhem #241114 EJ Holmes
Mayhem #3508 Collin J Rae
Mayhem #326352 Kayelless
Mayhem #615164 Carmen Hoang
Mayhem #691202 Ann Carston
Mayhem #95 4C 41 42
Mayhem #15553 J Johnson Photography LLC
Mayhem #12335 Miguel Lopez Lemus
Mayhem #4702 Kidtee Hello
Mayhem #356857 Kelli Kolors
Mayhem #137643 Loretta Kendall
Mayhem #53810 ArtHommage
Mayhem #20980 Braille
Mayhem #309765 Donald Bryant
Mayhem #66419 Slowburn Images
Mayhem #255445 BPhotographic
Mayhem #172572 Stillborn Photography
Mayhem #160829 Rik Austin
Mayhem #115473 Jasmine Nicole Smith
Mayhem #6322 Ken Erickson
Mayhem #138167 Scottie Howison
Mayhem #32435 Scott Barnes
Mayhem #94927 Rez Sinister
Mayhem #6616 Eric Cain
Mayhem #8270 Rocky Dawson
Mayhem #186533 VIP
Mayhem #175873 Bodies of Paint
Mayhem #5994 Fotographia Fantastique
Mayhem #105170 CLT
Mayhem # 2333 Laura Dark
Mayhem #38761 Glen Berry
Mayhem #471481 Three15
Mayhem #24931 Gary M
Mayhem #12227 Alizarine
Mayhem #142789 Lazyi Photography
Mayhem #442074 Paxgothica
Mayhem #470382 DemolenaLisa
Mayhem #92538 Blackwatch
Mayhem #178095 Springheel
Mayhem #75536 DarkeHearted
Mayhem #361349 Penis Christ
Mayhem #460931 Eric Owens
Mayhem #52971 Art Schotz
Mayhem #301721 Shiva Photography
Mayhem #62236 Asylum-Photo
Mayhem #124171 StrangeStuff
Mayhem #494160 Macy Fox
Mayhem #7390 William Kious
Mayhem #88178 Linda Kious
Mayhem #39309 Glen5790
Mayhem #496970 Jaloux
Mayhem #644624 MzErika
Mayhem #64943 Ryan Liu
Mayhem #526628 Rock Ness Photography
Mayhem #39443 Boden Photography LLC
Mayhem #8275 Lost Coast Photo
Mayhem #152 Boyd Hambleton
Mayhem #7199 TheAnj
Mayhem #190666 DVMedia
Mayhem #21438 Lucky13Photo
Mayhem #233842 Micheal Southwick
Mayhem #505070 PXE
Mayhem #275290 Pixiefish Photography
Mayhem #447548 Mischief Vixen
Mayhem #447723 Gumby Goddess Photography
Mayhem #418734 Lola666
Mayhem #322877 Miss Anna Vaughn
Mayhem #222108 Alex N
Mayhem #238948 Flash One
Mayhem #70782 Sleep_to_dream
Mayhem #8388 DigitalAllure Photography
Mayhem #17644 Mickle Design Works